Sunday, June 2, 2013

Mums make lists ...: Talking About Death With Children


We don't expect to encounter death on a walk in our local park but a few weeks back we came face to face with nature at it's cruelest.

On our way to see the new born goslings on the pond we noticed the coots had also got chicks.

As we excitedly counted the coot chicks, the heron swooped down right in front of us grabbed a chick, ate it and came back for another.

It all occurred so quickly there was no time to walk away or pretend it hadn't happened.

My 3 year old and her friend were for a good while distraught but later they both drew pictures which they said were "Naughty Mr Heron" taking the coots and for the next few days talked about it non-stop to everyone they met.

Sometimes they were matter of fact - Mrs Coot would lay more eggs. Sometimes their stories subtly shifted what had happened - it wasn't "our" nice Mr Heron who had done the dastardly deed, it was another Mr Heron from another park.

We had a similar experience at Easter time when our family cat died. We tried to be as straight forward as possible - Coco the cat had had a lovely life, but she was very old and had been poorly and she died sitting on the lap of someone she felt very loved by.

Again, there were lots of tears and a lot of talking about all the lovely and funny things Coco had done. We read many times over?Badger's Parting Gifts?- a really beautiful book about death from old age and how we feel incredible sadness at losing someone but also great joy about all our wonderful memories.

And again there was constant story telling about Coco which in time wandered a long way from reality and which I wasn't at all sure how to handle.

As it was Easter we had talked about Jesus dying but coming back to life because he was the son of God. We had also just read The Lion The Witch and the Wardrobe?- a surprisingly accessible book for any child starting to enjoy chapter books because it is so tightly written and so exciting - in which of course Aslan also comes back to life.

Coco the cat, we were told, had died before and come back to life before she finally died. Then, Jesus wasn't the son of God, Coco was. And finally in a truly surreal moment at bedtime that Coco was the god of Sun.

Oh my goodness ... what do I say? ... where do I start to unpick this story telling?

Initially from cowardice but eventually from conviction, I decided to let her stories run their own course. Rather than correcting, I just listened. Children make sense of everything new by talking about it and making up stories that can be both brutally factual and muddled - and sometimes disturbing - fantasy in turn.

All I think you can do is:

Follow Me on Pinterest

If you found this post helpful, you might also like ...

Flying with kids Tips for handling tantrums Teeth Cleaning Tips

And if you have a post about bereavement and grief that you think might help others please do share below ...


This post is linked up at these fab parties:?No Time for Flash Cards,?Sunday Showcase,?Science Sundays,?Made by Little Hands Monday,?Tuesday Tots,?Show and Tell,?Eco Kids Tuesday,?Mommy Club,?Trendy Tree House,?Our Seasons of Joy,?It's Playtime,?Shine on Fridays,?For the Kids Friday,?Weekly Kids Co-op, ?Magic Onions,?Sharing Saturday,?I Can Teach My Child,?True Aim Education,?Read Explore Learn,?Pre-School Corner,?Thank Goodness It's Friday,?Learn and Link,?Share It Saturday,?Sugar Bee Crafts,??Home Stories A to Z,??The Shabby Creek Cottage,??Joyful Homemaking,??Serenity Now,?The Gunny Sack,?Crystal and Co,?Ginger Snap Crafts,?Trendy Tree House,?Domesblissity,?Ladybird Ln,?Not Just a Housewife,?Clever Chicks,?Be Different Act Normal,?Sumos Sweet Stuff,?Keeping It Simple,?Lines Across,?Get Your Crafts On,?A Bowlful of Lemons,?Clean and Scentsible,??Delightful Order,?We Are That Family,?By Stephanie Lynn,?Whipperberry,??More the Merrier Monday,??I Should Be Mopping the Floor, ?Carolyn's Homework,?Shabby Creek Cottage,?36th Avenue,?Six Sisters Stuff,?52 Mantels,?My Uncommon Slice of Suburbia,?Elizabeth and Co,?Whatever Goes,?Finding Fabulous,?The Thrifty Home,?Skip to My Lou,?Five Little Chefs,?Fluster Muster,?Creative Princess,?DIY Crafty Projects,?The DIY'ers,?Naturally Living Mamma,?Tumbleweed Contessa,Give Me the Goods,?Martha Mondays

This post includes affiliate links.

Source: http://mumsmakelists.blogspot.com/2013/05/talking-about-death-with-children.html

diners drive ins and dives jeff who lives at home 49ers news saint louis university night at the museum pope shenouda bolton muamba

No comments:

Post a Comment

Note: Only a member of this blog may post a comment.